“Through the Scars”

When I was young I’d bow my head,

And pray beneath the stars.

I’d ask God for just one dream,

To carry me through the scars.

When the faith slipped from my hands,

The dream refused to fade.

So every night I’d close my eyes,

To hopefully see the life I’d make.

But morning always came,

With a harsh reality under my feet.

Another morning, another day,

Yet another dream doomed for defeat.

I wonder where all of the prayers went,

Or if they ever reached the sky.

Perhaps they found another soul…

One obviously better fit than I.

I carried all the doubts

The ones others left behind.

Until the boy who dreamed so much

Grew tired of the climb.

I searched for warmth in empty rooms,

For kindness through the cold.

I gave away the parts of me

I thought I shouldn’t hold.

I heard the voices turn away,

I felt the distance grow.

And after years of hearing it,

I wondered if it was so.

I took their disappointment in,

It became who I am.

I learned to see myself the way

I thought they saw me then.

I see him in the mirror now,

In every crack, wrinkle, or line.

The things I swore I’d never be…

Are reflected back in mine.

I spent my youth escaping

The shadow of his name.

But every road I tried to take

Still led me back the same.

I wonder if he felt this way,

When all his dreams grew dim.

If he looked upon his younger self

And felt ashamed of him.

Somewhere still lives that younger boy,

Who swore he’d touch the sun.

I hate that I must tell him now…

…”I’m sorry, I let you down.”